Jealousy
by theporchlife
Summary: Jennifer Keller is jealous. What's a girl to do?
1. Chapter 1

She was jealous. It was that simple.

It had been staring her in the face for days, hell, months now and she was finally ready to admit the truth, if not to the world, at least to herself. She was jealous.

It wasn't a nice feeling and it wasn't an attractive quality in a person but it was there, simmering just below the surface and if Amelia did not get her hands off of Ronon in the next two seconds she was going to smash her tray across her face. Well, probably not in reality but she'd imagine doing it. The satisfying _whack _and food flying across the room and maybe there'd even be some blood. Of course, knowing herself, she'd start apologizing immediately and then go into doctor mode and start bandaging Amelia up. But she'd probably like the feeling for a second at least.

"Doctor Keller? Jennifer? May I join you?" The soft serene voice broke through the bloodlust, she was feeling _bloodlust_?, and Jennifer managed a smile and a nod at Teyla.

What was wrong with her? She had given up all claim on Ronon more than a year ago and she was now feeling jealous? So maybe she'd still had a thing for him even when she was dating Rodney. So maybe her and Rodney had broken up and she was beginning to wonder what if? So maybe the sight of Amelia and Ronon all close and touching was making it hard for her to keep her meal down.

"Jennifer? Are you alright? You seem a little…distracted."

"What? Oh, no, I'm fine, just thinking."

"I can leave, if you wanted some space to-"

"Oh! No! Please, don't leave, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply - you know, it'll be good to have you here to distract me."

"Distract you?"

"From my thoughts. Bad thoughts. So, how is Torren doing?" Teyla smiled at the mention of her son before launching into a rather detailed description of all of the amazing things he did that day. Jennifer tried to listen, she really did, but it was hard to concentrate on Teyla's excited voice when Amelia appeared to be attempting to climb into Ronon's lap. The fact that he was not stopping her did not go unnoticed either.

"Un-freaking-believable."

"Pardon?"

"What? Oh, unbelievable, all the things that Torren is doing. You know, I'm terrible company today so I'm just going to go…somewhere. You could join Ronon and Amelia or not, because maybe they want to be alone, not that I would know if they want to be alone or not, I'm just saying that…I'm babbling. Sorry."

Jennifer stood up, prepared to leave the table and the mess hall and, hopefully, the green-eyed monster behind her. She reached for her tray but Teyla's hand stopped hers and a slight tug had her sitting down once more. Jennifer slumped over, banging her head softly on the table once, before looking up into Teyla's calm face.

"I'm completely obvious aren't I?"

"Not as obvious as you think. At least not to the people involved."

"They seem pretty wrapped up in each other, don't they? God I was stupid back then - played it safe and look what I ended up with? Nothing but a bad case of jealousy and now a sore spot on my forehead."

"So maybe you made the wrong choice then but nothing is broken that cannot be mended."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure there are some things that are completely and utterly broken but thanks for the pep talk. I'm just going to go before I go completely nuts. I'll see you later, Teyla."

"Jennifer." She stopped her movements once more at her name, looked at Teyla's cool and confident face and wished once more that she had even an ounce of that security and strength. "Nothing is irreparable, not even the heart."

Jennifer got up once more and headed toward the exit. She was a few steps from the door, almost out of the danger zone, when she decided to take one final glance back at the man she had not chosen. Her steps slowed but she did not stop, instead turning her head back to see him. She froze, her next steps untaken, as her eyes met piercing green ones across the room. He hadn't looked her in the eye, hadn't really noticed her presence, in a long time but here he was looking at her. She felt the familiar heat run through her, felt the air get sucked out of the room at the simple action of their eyes meeting.

'Oh god,' she thought as her cheeks flushed and she hastily turned away. 'Oh god, he saw me staring at him and now thinks I'm some sort of freakish stalker. Good going Jennifer, freak him out completely, that's the way to get a man.' She started walking again, quicker than before, barely avoiding running into the group of Marines who had just entered the mess hall.

It was only in the safety of her quarters that she allowed herself to breathe again. To think. To feel. She was jealous. It was that simple. And now that she knew it, what was she going to do?

Back in the mess hall, Ronon sat, quiet and still as usual, and contemplated what had just happened. He had known she was watching them - years as a Runner and as a Specialist before that had made him highly attuned to his surroundings - and he had wondered why.

Things had never been quite the same between them after she chose Rodney. A part of him still couldn't quite believe she'd chosen McKay and the other, larger, part of him wondered why he had ever thought she would chose him. He was a soldier, a killer, a Runner and everything she was not, everything he prayed she would never be forced to become. It shouldn't have surprised him that she chose McKay and yet, when she finally made her choice, he'd been hurt and confused and, frankly, pissed.

And now she was watching him? He wanted to know why, was hesitant to find out, and so he sat there attempting to convince himself that it was of no interest to him if she stared at him or not. But when their eyes met for the first time in a long time, electricity he had thought was gone ran through him and it was only the cool touch of Amelia's hand which reminded him to stay still and not going running after the little doctor.

So he sat and he waited and he thought. So she was staring at him. So she blushed her pretty - stop that, he shouldn't find it pretty anymore - little blush when he caught her looking at him. So he felt enough electricity running between them to light up Atlantis for a month. So her and McKay had broken up. So Amelia and him were friends and sometime lovers but nothing more. It didn't add up, not really, because for things to make sense she'd have to be interested in him in a more-than-friendly sense and he was not going down that road again. He was not going to set himself up for a fall once more, he was not going to be fooled. So he sat, listened as Amelia chatted about something, and thought some more.

She couldn't be interested, could she? And if she was, what was he going to do about it?


	2. Chapter 2

Three days later and she was still avoiding him. Had dove into a supply closet when she'd seen him coming around the corner. Had locked herself in her office when she knew his training session with a group of Marines was finished. Had started eating at the oddest hours in order to not see him. It had reached the point where Jennifer was either going to collapse from one of the heart attacks caused by the possibility of running into him or she'd have to figure out a way to implant some sort of tracking device in him while he slept.

She was the Chief Medical Officer on an international expedition in another galaxy and she was running around like a nervous teenager with a crush. It was immature and inappropriate and she could not stop herself from doing it. It had gone too far, she knew it had gone to far and yet, here she was once more, hiding in a closet full of medical supplies clutching a box of swabs to her chest instead of facing Ronon.

"Doctor Keller?"

She squeaked, the box flying out of her hand, a corner of it knocking her nose during its upward trajectory. She grabbed her nose, letting out a small "ow," before looking around her at the mess. The box had exploded, the swabs falling out and covering the floor like oversized snowflakes, and Jennifer could feel her face turning bright red. She dropped to the ground immediately and began picking them up with shaky hands, muttering all the while about her luck and what an idiot she was being.

"I'm sorry that I startled you," Doctor Chen said, dropping to the ground beside her and sweeping up some of the swabs into his hands. "I just thought I'd come in and check on you - I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's my fault. I guess I've just been a little bit on edge lately."

"If you don't mind my asking, any particular reason? I mean, maybe I could help"

"Yes, there is a reason and, no, I'm not going to tell you why although it was nice of you to ask, Dr Chen."

"You can call me Eric, you know," he smiled as he helped pull her up off the floor.

"I know," laughed Jennifer as she deposited the swabs in her hands in the trashcan by the door. "Maybe when I'm off-duty, not being your boss. And, when I call you Eric, you can call me Jennifer."

"Sounds good. But everything is okay in here?"

"It's fine, I'll be out in a moment."

He headed toward the door, Jennifer watching him go. Eric Chen had only been on board Atlantis for a few months but he was already proving invaluable - quick on his feet, good in a crisis and a more than competent doctor. He was also smart, funny and not too bad to look at, not that Jennifer was really looking.

He turned back and smiled at her as he pushed open the door to the supply closet, a comforting and slightly playful grin in her direction. Maybe it was the fact that he caught her watching him or maybe it was just something in the air but, instead of exiting the room, he instead turned back and stopped.

"Are you on a break right now?"

"What?" she asked, confusion setting in. A break? Well, technically hiding in a supply closet from the man she was possibly in love with could be considered a break. "I guess."

"Good. So, Jennifer," Eric smiled again, charming and cool. "Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?"

Jennifer turned red and looked away quickly. Dinner? "Like a date?"

"Yes, a dinner date in which I pick you up at your door and escort you somewhere else, in this case the mess hall, to eat. We talk, laugh a little and generally enjoy the evening together. So, what do you think?"

She should say no, she was technically his boss, even though there weren't really any rules on the matter, and she was currently battling a losing war with her feelings over Ronon Dex. It was the last point that settled it.

"What time do you want to pick me up, Eric?"

He hadn't meant to be eavesdropping, not really. He had come to the infirmary with one of the Marines from his training session who had taken an elbow, not Ronon's elbow, to his forehead during an exercise. It had required a couple of stitches and some time spent with a flashlight in his eyes but the young man would be fine.

It had become a habit, one that had started right around the time that Jennifer Keller had started working on Atlantis, for Ronon to take any injured men down to the infirmary. At first he had figured it was good for morale as Sheppard would say. Later, after the almost-kiss during the not-really-quarantine, he had figured it was just his way of spending more time around the pretty doctor. He kept coming even after her rejection out of habit and expectation which was why he was here now, standing outside of the supply closet that Jennifer had ducked into the moment she'd seen him coming, listening to her say "yes" to a dinner invitation.

He moved back from the door quickly as Doctor Chen, 'Eric' she'd called him, walked out of the closet, a grin spread across his face. Ronon resisted the rather primal, and completely unwelcome, urge to punch him in the face. There would be blood, people would get upset and he'd have to explain exactly why he had randomly punched a doctor. And in order to explain that he'd have to admit that, after months of suppressing and ignoring it, he was jealous.

He was jealous. It was that simple and that complex. He shouldn't be jealous anymore, he should have gotten over her months ago, but there was still a torch burning in her honor in his heart. He hadn't gotten over her, hadn't really moved on because how did one move on from the woman who let you believe you could love again, the same woman who let you get close and then chose another over you. You didn't, not really, and that, and the fact that he was jealous of some spiky-haired doctor, irked him more than he could really explain.

He jumped, literally jumped, at the sound of her voice saying his name. He looked at her, disbelief written across his face, as she giggled slightly.

"I finally got the jump on you, didn't I?" she laughed. She looked at him, really looked at him, and for a moment his heart stopped. Then he reminded himself of what he had heard, reminded himself that any and all feelings of jealousy and possessiveness had to be smothered.

"Did you need something, Doc?" She blushed, remembering the last time she had really seen him and the fact that he probably now thought she was some sort of crazy person.

"What? Oh, no, I was just wondering why you were here - you're not hurt are you?"

"No, I was just bringing one of the Marines down, took an elbow to the head."

"Lawrence is all stitched up and ready to report back to work," chimed in Dr. Chen who had appeared suddenly behind Jennifer's left shoulder.

Ronon couldn't help the glower he threw in the doctor's direction and he barely kept in the growl that threatened to emerge at the sight of Chen's hand on Jennifer's arm. He watched as Jennifer looked up, 'not as far up as she had to look with him,' he thought with some male satisfaction, and smiled at Chen before turning to face him. "I just got the test results back for Dr. DeLange - they are in your office if you want to go take a look at them with me."

"Thanks, I'll go do that. Ronon, if there isn't anything you need, then I'll see you around, I guess." She gave him a nod before turning and heading toward her office.

Ronon watched her walk away, Dr. Chen following close behind her and his stomach turned at her soft laugh at something the doctor said. He turned then, stalking out of the infirmary, throwing a glare at a nurse who happened to get in his way.

Jealousy was not an attractive quality in a person. It was not a useful emotion, it was a distraction and he was feeling it in spades. He wanted to hit someone, mostly himself. Maybe Sheppard would be up for some sparring?


	3. Chapter 3

Things never seemed to go quite as planned in Jennifer Keller's life.

Had thought she'd be a neurosurgeon, maybe at Johns Hopkins, on Earth. Instead she was CMO in another galaxy. Thought her and Rodney could make it work. Instead they'd broken up leaving things awkward and amicable between them. Thought she'd be married, maybe have a dog. Instead she was single and on a date with her colleague, without even the comfort of a goldfish back in her quarters.

Yes, things had never gone as planned in her life and tonight appeared to be no exception to that rule.

It wasn't a bad date, it really wasn't. She was having fun - Eric was charming and witty and they had plenty to talk about, what with Dr DeLange's strange green rash and the appearance of Sheppard in the infirmary with a bloody nose and slight limp. It was just that, as much as she was enjoying herself, something was not quite right. Maybe it was the food, Jello wasn't really romantic, or maybe it was the fact that she was tired after a long day at work or maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the large Satedan who sat across the room from them.

Ronon had arrived at the mess hall about ten minutes after they did and had situated himself directly behind Eric Chen's left shoulder. Every time Jennifer dared to glance up from her food at her dinner companion, she could see him watching her over Eric's shoulder. It was unnerving and also, Jennifer couldn't believe she was even admitting this to herself, kind of hot.

Jennifer shook her head slightly, willing away any and all thoughts of Ronon Dex and hotness, before turning her attention back to Eric. She was eating dinner with him, enjoying his company and now Ronon appeared to be doing everything in his power to ruin this date for her.

'Damn him!' she thought as she thrust her fork angrily into what was passing for pasta on Atlantis these days. 'Here I am, doing my best to move on, to get over him and my little jealousy issue and he has the nerve to come here and get all stalker on me? Why now?' She had no idea why he was watching them, no idea what was going through Ronon's head and it was, frankly, starting to annoy her.

She stood suddenly, causing both Eric and Ronon to flinch back in their seats.

"I'm going to go get some more jello, do you want any?" she asked, focusing hard on Eric.

"I'm good - I can get it for-"

"No, stay seated, I'll be right back. Just need to get some jello," she said loudly, emphasizing the word 'jello' with a jerk of her head in the direction of one of the balconies. If Ronon Dex was half as smart as he thought he was, he'd follow her out there and then, and then she'd say…something to him.

Ronon wasn't surprised by Jennifer's unspoken command to follow her out to the balcony. He'd been expecting it really because the doctor and had seemed perturbed at his arrival in the mess hall and he figured it was only a matter of time before she got up the nerve to say something.

He hadn't been planning on following them to dinner, not really. But after Sheppard had gotten back from the infirmary, he swore he hadn't been going that hard on him, bearing stories of Dr Chen's incessant flirting with Keller, he figured it couldn't hurt to take a look for himself. He wasn't hurting anyone, unless one counted his pride, and it wasn't like he had anyone to cheat on after he and Amelia had decided they were better off as good friends. No, in the end it was just simple curiosity that got the better of him, that and a good dose of jealousy at the thought of Jennifer Keller once again going on a date with someone who wasn't him.

So he'd gone to the mess hall at around the time he figured they would be there, gotten some food and then settled himself down behind Eric Chen so he'd have a perfect view of every expression that crossed Jennifer's cute little face.

At first she seemed surprised to see him and quickly flushed. She hadn't looked up again for awhile after that but he knew the moment she would look up because of the slight steeling of her shoulders and the deep breath she took before raising her eyes. She never looked at Ronon directly, always focused intently on Eric's face, but he knew she could see him out of the corner of her eye and her flustered appearance was a balm to his wounded pride.

He'd been concentrating so hard on licking his own wounds, on how he was probably ruining her date that he didn't notice until it was too late the change in her appearance. The squaring of her shoulders as if she was readying for battle, the heightened breathing and, most importantly, the slight narrowing of her eyes as they focused in his direction. He didn't notice so he was surprised when she leapt up and started talking, loudly, about jello before gesturing toward the balcony with a sharp nod of her head.

So he followed her and he took in all those things about her suddenly changed appearance that he should have noticed before. He took it all in and he knew, without a doubt, that he was screwed. So he braced himself, prepared himself, for the moment when she finally turned around to look at him and, as Lorne once said, 'to rip him a new one.'

"What the hell do you think you're doing! I'm on a date and your staring is freaking me out and, more importantly, freaking annoying."

Ronon was silent at this, how was he supposed to respond? That he wanted to see how their date went because he was jealous? That he was pissed off that she was yet again going out with someone who wasn't him even though it seemed like, once again, she wanted him? That he thought is was okay to stare because she had started doing it first?

"I didn't complain when you were staring at me over lunch the other day."

He knew it was the wrong thing to say immediately, knew it was childish and just a little mean, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted to be childish and mean because this whole situation was childish and mean.

Jennifer recoiled a little, a wounded expression flashing across her face briefly, before she pushed it back down. He had a point and she had to accept that, she reasoned, but she didn't have to like it.

"You're right, I'm sorry for staring the other day, it was rude."

There. Calm, cool and collected - how very Teyla of her. Of course she hadn't counted on the fact that being like Teyla, being calm and cool in most every situation, wasn't always completely satisfying. "I've got to get back, Eric is waiting for me at the table."

"Wait." She stopped, held her breath, prayed with every fiber of her being that he would tell her not to go back but to stay out here with him. "Here's a jello, you don't want to go back without one."

Here's a jello? He could have kicked himself. Here's a jello? She could have smacked him. Instead she took it out of his outstretched hand, careful not to touch him, before turning away and walking back to her date. Here's a jello? Unbelievable.


	4. Chapter 4

Amelia couldn't help herself, although she really tried, so she just let the laughter out, long, hard and loud. The look on his face, part disgust and part surprise, made it worse and she clutched her stomach as it began to ache from the spasms.

Ronon Dex was strong and calm and practically perfect and yet here he was completely undone by Jennifer Keller? It was too funny, she wished she had been there, and she couldn't wait to tell Stephen when he got back from his trip off-world that her ex-boyfriend, 'Captain Tall, Dark and Broody,' he always called Ronon, had been left completely flummoxed by the blonde, petite and at times completely skittish doctor.

"You just handed her a jello? Just like that? Just 'here's a jello' and then nothing? What is wrong with you?"

"I don't see what the problem is - she needed a jello, I had a jello and I gave it to her. Why are you laughing?"

"I wish I had been there - she probably gave you a look that could kill."

"No, she just took it and went back to her date," Ronon said, spitting out the word 'date' like it left a bad taste in his mouth. Amelia laughed again, god he was obvious, and waited for his inevitable next question. "Why would she be mad at my giving her a jello?"

"It wasn't the jello," she said with a shake of her head. It was sweet, in a way, how clueless he could be when it came to Dr Keller.

It had been easy between her and Ronon: similar interests and ideas, he didn't need to worry when she went off-world because she could handle herself and, most importantly, things between them had never run too deep in the romantic sense. They had fun, enjoyed each other's company and, after it ended, they were able to become just good friends.

It was different with Jennifer, always had been different. The doctor and the Runner. The healer and the soldier. Where Jennifer was light and hopeful with an infectious smile, Ronon was dark and quiet with a nasty glare and the weight of a whole world on his shoulders. Perfect opposites in some ways and, thought Amelia, perfectly suited for each other in all the ways that mattered. Which was why she, the ex-girlfriend who only wanted what was best for him, was going to help him figure out his Jennifer-sized problem.

"Then why do you think she would have been upset at me giving her the jello? She didn't seem upset, confused maybe, but not upset. I thought giving her the jello was a friendly gesture?"

"Oh god, will you stop it with the jello! It was not the jello! Forget the jello!"

Ronon was quiet, not unusual for him, and waited for Amelia to, inevitably, explain herself. No matter how long he lived on Atlantis, surrounded by people from Earth, he'd never quite understand them. Everything was so complicated with them - jello wasn't just jello, no one ever said what they meant, everyone ran around playing games with each other's feelings and, frankly, he was getting a little tired of always feeling three steps behind when it came to Earth and its customs. So he stood, arms crossed, and waited for her to explain what, exactly, he had done wrong and then for her to tell him, exactly, what he should do about it.

"Jennifer has feelings for you - she was jealous the other day at lunch, that was why she was staring at us and, yes, I did notice that because I actually am aware of my surroundings."

"Why would she be jealous?"

Amelia rolled her eyes, 'he is so dense sometimes,' before pressing on.

"She would be jealous because she has feelings for you, not-so-platonic feelings."

"Oh."

Ronon's head hurt a little trying to figure it all out. She had feelings for him? Romantic feelings? He had once thought she felt that way about him but he had been terribly wrong then and had ended up being hurt. But why would she suddenly have feelings for him now? They hadn't really spoken since she had chosen Rodney and she had been actively avoiding him for the past few days although that could have been out of embarrassment at being caught staring. And yet he knew what he had felt when their eyes had locked, knew there was still some sort of electricity there, and he had wondered in the mess hall if she had been staring at Amelia and him because she was jealous. It didn't make sense, any of it, and it was all starting to give him a headache.

"So then why would she be upset about the jello?"

"SHUT UP ABOUT THE STUPID JELLO!," Amelia shouted before turning on her heel and storming out of the gym, barreling past a handful of confused Marines on her way out the door.

She could not believe the man, could not believe his fixation on the jello, completely ignoring the larger picture in the process, and she refused to deal with it any longer. Her and Ronon were friends but even friends had limits and if he wanted to be dense and ignore the important questions then so be it.

Ronon watched her go, surprised at her rather sudden outburst, before shrugging his shoulders and sitting down on one of the benches. He'd figure it out, he always did - why Jennifer had feelings for him now, why she would be upset and what, exactly, was wrong with jello.

On the other side of Atlantis, in the infirmary, Jennifer sat locked in her office. Her computer was on, paperwork scattered across the desk and she held a pen in one hand. Of course the computer was currently working its way through the screensaver, the papers were all unread and the pen was being tapped, constantly and frantically, against her desk. Jennifer was distracted and it was, once more, partly because of a certain Satedan.

Last night had been…interesting was a good word for it. Her date went smoothly up until Ronon had shown up and decided to stare her down from across the mess hall. Even with his sudden appearance, she had still managed to have a good time. Eric was a charming dinner companion and he hadn't even mentioned her rather abrupt departure from the table in order to grab some more jello. So at the end of the night she had allowed him to kiss her, quick and soft, outside of her door before she scampered inside and locked it behind her.

It was the kiss, and Ronon's strange behavior, which was causing Jennifer to ignore her work. The kiss was nice, pleasant if not terribly exciting, and it had been a long time since she had been kissed. She liked Eric, thought he was a wonderful man and the sort of person that, back on Earth, she would have settled down and started a life with happily.

But they were not on Earth and, after spending all this time in another galaxy, she knew that what she had wanted, what she would have settled for, on Earth was no longer what she needed. She had tried it once with Rodney, had put in her best effort, but, at the end of the day, she was no longer Jennifer Keller from Chippewa Falls. She was Jennifer Keller, CMO of Atlantis in the Pegasus Galaxy, and Rodney, and now Eric, was not where her heart was leading her.

Which brought her right back around to Ronon. She had hoped, foolishly as it turned out, that he had come to the mess hall because he was jealous. She had hoped that he had stared at her, attempted to ruin her date, because he didn't want to see her with anyone but him. But of course, as non-work related things usually turned out for her, she was wrong. So here she was, sitting at her desk with a ton of work unfinished, distracted, confused and frustrated.

She knew where the cards lay, or at least thought she did, and she needed to make a choice. She could go safe once more, stick with Eric and see what happened. She could take a leap, find Ronon, throw him down and have her way with him before confessing everything - that she had made a mistake, that she always wanted him and that, if he'd let her, she'd chose him for now and always. Or she could go with plan C, when had she started lettering them?, and do nothing, wait and see. She knew she should come up with a plan D, that Evan always said plan C should be automatically tossed out, but she couldn't think of a D at the moment and, frankly, she was too tired to care.

She thought about, weighed the pros and cons of each, before sighing and rubbing her hand across her face. All the thinking was making her head ache and she was exhausted by it all. That settled it. She'd go with Plan C, Evan and his advice be damned.


	5. Chapter 5

Plan C was definitely not going as planned.

It seemed to Jennifer that every time she made a move either Ronon or Eric would be there to counter it. Go to the mess hall for lunch? Eric would appear to escort her there and then insist on eating with her which would usually end up being right around when Ronon would appear at a table nearby to glower at his food while he ate. Or she'd go for a nice long run and end up crossing paths with Ronon along one of the piers. Or she'd be at her shift and Ronon would appear with a bleeding Marine or Eric would want to go over some test results. None of it was helping her stress level and none of it was helping her figure out what the hell to do with her life.

Plan C was supposed to be easy - do nothing, wait and see. Plan C was turning out to be more of a headache than she had originally imagined.

Jennifer sighed and brushed her hair out of her face before once more focusing her attention on the microscope in front of her. Dr DeLange's green rash hadn't cleared up yet, although the good news was it hadn't spread, and she was still looking for a cure. It was times like these, when she was tired and frustrated and just a little bit on edge, that she really hated being CMO of Atlantis. Being CMO, especially CMO of an expedition to another galaxy that was rife with all sorts of weird alien viruses, meant longer hours and more pressure and clones for colleagues. Being CMO meant she was stuck in the infirmary, staring into a microscope, while everyone else was out enjoying movie night.

"And they were showing _The Sound of Music_," she sighed, swiping her hair out of her eyes once more. "Stupid hair. Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes…"

"What's that?"

His voice caused her to jump and she clutched a hand to her chest in a poor attempt to calm her racing heart. How did he do that? For someone so big, Ronon Dex had a way of sneaking up on you.

"Don't do that! Hum or something, please."

"Sorry."

"It's okay," said Jennifer as she scanned his body quickly for any sign of injuries.

She didn't really expect to see any injuries, did it out of habit more than anything else. She knew he hadn't been off-world today and no one would be sparring during movie night. Well, she wouldn't be sparring during movie night but, then again, she loved _The Sound of Music _and it was possible that someone had warned the other crew members and she wouldn't be sparring even if it was movie night so the point was moot.

"So what were you singing?"

"What? Oh, just a song from a movie - actually a song from the movie that is playing now. Did Sheppard warn you that it was a musical?"

"Pretty much - said there weren't any explosions so I might as well skip it."

"Oh, right. So are you hurt?"

"No."

Jennifer rolled her eyes at Ronon's monosyllabic answer. She usually didn't mind how quiet he was, thought it was nice to have someone to balance out her tendency to ramble, who actually listened to her when she rambled. But right now, after her complete lack of progress with the green rash and the fact that Plan C was just not working, that answer was just not going to cut it. "No"? What sort of answer was that?

"So, why are you here then?"

"I thought I'd come find you; you weren't at movie night."

There, he'd said it. He'd gone to movie night, even though _The Sound of Music_ sounded awful, because he wanted to see her and, when he found she wasn't there, he went in search of her. He was a little worried, she had a tendency to overwork, but more than anything he just wanted to see her.

Jennifer smiled at that answer - he'd looked for her. He wanted to see her. Her stomach did a flip and she could barely bring herself to look at him without blushing. He wanted to see her.

"Well, you found him."

"Looks like it."

"So, was there anything in particular you wanted from me?"

He didn't say it, didn't tell her he only wanted her, stopped himself from grabbing her and kissing her senseless. It wasn't time, wasn't right and he still wasn't sure of what, exactly, her feelings were for him. He wasn't planning on making the same mistake twice but maybe, just maybe, if he didn't go too fast or push too hard, they could build something new together.

"Just thought I'd see what you were doing so, what are you doing?"

"Working on a cure for Dr DeLange's rash and making absolutely no progress. I just don't know what to try next."

"My father always told me to take a break and come back when I was having trouble with something. Said the best ideas come when you least expect them. It usually worked for me."

"Sounds like he was a smart man."

"He was."

Jennifer looked Ronon in the eyes then, forced her eyes to lock with his, before grabbing the hand that had been hanging at his side and squeezing. She offered him a smile, didn't really know what to say to his all-to-rare revelation about something from his life on Sateda, and waited for him to speak again.

She had forgotten the feeling, how lucky and privileged she felt, whenever he spoke of his lost world, his lost friends and family. He opened up so rarely about his time before coming to Atlantis and Jennifer knew to treasure every word and memory that he gifted to her. It was an incredible feeling really, to be in the confidences of a man like Ronon Dex.

"So you'll take a break?" he said, clearing his throat as he pushed back the memories of his father.

"Well, since you went through the trouble of finding me, I guess a break wouldn't hurt. Do you think the movie is still playing?"

Jennifer laughed at the grimace which passed over Ronon's face at the thought of sitting through any of _The Sound of Music_. 'Sheppard must have really told him something for him to react like that,' she thought with a smile. 'Not afraid of anything, faces death down all the time and the thought of watching a musical brings him to his knees.'

"Okay, no movie then."

"Come with me."

"Where?"

"Just come, please."

He held out his hand and waited, a confident smile spread across his face. He knew she'd come, knew she trusted him even after all the time that had passed since they had last been truly friends. So he waited and, as expected, she placed her hand in his with a timid smile and the faintest of blushes.

"So where are we going?"

"You'll see."

Plan C was definitely not going according to plan. Wait and see. Do nothing. At the moment, however, Jennifer didn't care. Plan C would have to wait. She had better things to do.


	6. Chapter 6

"The mess hall? You're not going to offer me another jello, are you?"

Ronon just smiled, ignoring her questions and gentle jibe, as he pulled her through the mess hall. He wanted to take her somewhere quiet, somewhere neutral, where they could just talk like they used to. It was warm clear night and one of the mess hall balconies seemed like the perfect place to restart their relationship, whatever that relationship was now.

The mess hall was nearly empty, most people on base either at movie night or working the late shift. Those who were there, however, watched with interest as the former Runner passed through with the CMO's hand clasped firmly in his large one. They whispered, wondered what they were doing, before turning back to their meals with a shrug. It was the Pegasus Galaxy, stranger things had happened.

Ronon and Jennifer ignored the stares, Ronon because he was mostly used to them by now and Jennifer because she was so concentrated on where exactly Ronon was taking her, and continued on their path. Jennifer just smiled when he held open the doors to one of the balconies before heading outside and taking a deep breath of the sea air. It felt good to be outside, she felt like she hadn't had any fresh air in days, and she breathed in again while she waited for Ronon to explain himself.

"I thought you could use some fresh air and maybe we could, I don't know, talk or something," he shrugged with a lopsided grin. He seemed a little nervous, maybe unsure of his plan now that he'd finally taken action, and Jennifer smiled again.

"Thank you, this is really wonderful."

They were silent then and Jennifer glanced around the balcony in an attempt to find something to say. She pulled at the sleeves of her shirt, stopped herself when she realized she was fidgeting and then sat herself on one of the benches. Ronon sat beside her, close enough to feel the heat coming off her skin but not close enough to touch, and waited for words to come to him.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time: find Jennifer, take her somewhere quiet and talk. Now that they were there, on a balcony which was just a little too romantic and a lot too quiet, he began to reconsider his plan. Maybe they should have sat inside or gone to movie night and then had a snack together afterwards. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut, continued avoiding her and gone on with his life. Maybe he should have done all of those things but he had chosen this plan and he wasn't a man to turn back when things looked grim.

'Say something, say anything,' his mind screamed at him as he searched for a topic of conversation. He didn't mind the quiet usually, thought that listening often meant more than speaking, but right now silence was not what he had in mind. It had used to be easy between them, the silence would not have been awkward in the past, but maybe too much time had gone by, maybe it was too late for them.

"So this isn't awkward at all," said Jennifer, trying to lighten the heavy mood.

"Yeah," grunted Ronon, mentally kicking himself for his abrupt and not-particularly friendly reply. 'That's the way to get the girl, be rude and silent, she'll love it,' he thought with disgust.

He was not ready for this, wasn't prepared, and he didn't know how to proceed. Before, in his life on Sateda, he would have known what to have done, would have known what to say to a beautiful woman sitting beside him. Now, in his life on Atlantis, he felt completely overwhelmed with all of it. What to say, what to do, how to know if they were feeling the same way as you. Amelia was easy enough, it didn't run very deep and neither of them was expecting it to last forever. With Jennifer, it was different. He found himself thinking about children, their children, or imagining what his room would look like after she moved in, his weapons and her girl things sharing the same space. It was completely exhilarating and totally terrifying at the same time.

"Dr DeLange is still green." Jennifer rolled her eyes at herself - she was talking about a green, slightly putrid rash? - before continuing on. "I can't figure out what caused it and I'm a little worried that I won't be able to cure it and she'll be stuck with a green rash for the rest of her life. I guess it could be worse, I mean, she could be dying or something but I feel awful about not being able to help her and-"

"You'll find a way to help her and, if you don't, it won't be because you're not smart enough or you didn't try hard enough, it'll be because a cure doesn't exist."

"I forgot how you did that."

"Did what?"

"How you can make everything seem so simple, how you make me feel better with just a few words. It's a impressive skill."

They were quiet again, the awkwardness dissipating as they sat listening to the sounds of the ocean. Ronon thought about what she said - that he made her feel better - and smiled to himself. He had forgotten how it felt to have Jennifer Keller believe in you, to have her think of you as something more than a soldier or a Runner or a killer. How with a soft smile or a few words, she made him feel like he had a future to look forward to, made him feel like a man.

He moved closer, not enough to touch but enough to feel the electricity sparking between their skin, and sat quietly in the darkness with the woman who had opened his heart by his side. That sat that way for awhile, quiet and still, the sound of their breathing and the movement of water against Atlantis the only things breaking the comfortable silence.

It was the sound of laughter, of Sheppard saying something about being sixteen as Rodney loudly complained about the movie choice, that broke the spell.

Jennifer laughed, her arm brushing lightly against Ronon's as she clasped a hand over her mouth in an effort to contain her giggles. Ronon watched her, unsure of why exactly she was laughing but content to enjoy the sounds of her mirth. He liked her laugh, thought her giggles were - he was such a girl sometimes - adorable and loved her blushes. Jennifer caught his eye then and he raised an eyebrow at her causing her to giggle once more. Okay, maybe he loved both her giggles and her blushes.

"Sorry, I'm just imagining John, oh god," snorted Jennifer once more. "Sorry, you have to see the movie - just imagine John and Rodney dancing and singing in a gazebo, I'm sorry…"

She trailed off into laughter once more, tears springing into the corners of her eyes. Ronon just raised his eyebrow again before shrugging. He didn't know what a gazebo was, didn't want to see the movie ever and he definitely didn't want to imagine John and Rodney dancing and singing together in any fashion. He waited until Jennifer calmed down, her laughter having slowed to a couple of hiccups.

"Do you want to go inside and join them?"

"Um, sure, that sounds nice."

He stood up and faced her, grabbing her hand and pulling her to her feet in one swift movement. She lost her footing slightly at the end of his tug, surprised at his gesture, and fell forward into his chest. Jennifer willed herself to look up and into Ronon's eyes. She started slightly, hadn't expected his face to be so close, his head bending down towards her in a protective manner, and for a moment, one heart-stopping moment, she thought he might kiss her. But his head stopped moving and her eyes didn't flutter shut and all she could do was offer him a small smile and a "thank you."

He didn't step away, couldn't move himself away from the delicate smell coming off her hair and the feeling of her soft slight body pressed gently against his. He stood there, frozen in her eyes, and it took everything in him to not give in, to not kiss her then and there. He settled instead for an answering smile, a grunted "no problem" and then, before he really knew what he was doing, a gentle kiss to her forehead.

He stepped away then, allowed her to pass by him and to the door to the balcony, allowing himself the luxury of closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before seeing their friends. When he opened his eyes he was surprised to see her standing at the door, the light creating a halo around her and he had to suck in another breath at the sight of her.

"This was good."

That was all, nothing else, no other words or gestures, before she turned and went inside. He stood there frozen once more, listened to her greet Sheppard and Rodney and ask them about the movie.

"This was good."

Three little words, nothing more. Ronon smiled. Maybe, just maybe, he got the girl in the end.


	7. Chapter 7

The few days after Jennifer's evening on the balcony with Ronon passed in a slow and steady rhythm. Wake up, go to work, go back to her quarters: wash, rinse and repeat. It scared her a little how what had once been her safe, comfortable life was now just a little less all because of one man. What made it even worse was the fact that the man in question wasn't even on Atlantis at the moment and yet he was still managing to drive her to distraction.

She shook her head, attempting to clear her mind of all thoughts of a certain Satedan, and smiled wryly to her when, in the end, it was still only thoughts of him which remained. 'Stupid Ronon and his romantic if, lets face it, awkward evening,' she thought with a soft sigh.

"Work hard or hardly working?"

Jennifer let out a slight shriek at the sudden interruption, jumping backwards in her seat at the same time. She just glared at Evan as he leaned casually against the doorframe of her office, arms crossed and sly grin firmly in place. "Man Jen, you sure are extra-jumpy today."

"You shouldn't sneak up on people - I could have been doing something important!"

"But you weren't. And Jen, I hate to tell you this, but you're the easiest person in two galaxies to sneak up on - no survival instinct."

"Oh shut up," was Jennifer's mature response to Evan's rather accurate assessment of her.

"So what has you so out of sorts - man trouble?"

"You are such a woman," laughed Jennifer. "Do the other Marines know what a gossip you are?"

"Yes, it's part of my job to know what's going on."

"Always be prepared, right?"

"That's the Boy Scouts, Jen. Ignoring my question aren't you?"

"Pretty much, Evan. And, if you're not hurt or anything, then as you can probably see I'm very important and busy so-"

"I guess I could just try my luck with Ronon now that he's back." Evan paused, looked a Jennifer and continued. "You'll have to promise to stitch up what's left of me though when he's done."

She tried not to perk up at the sound of his name, knew Evan would notice her blush and would question her interest in the news of his safe, she assumed, return. She tried to hide it but knew she failed miserably at the sight of Evan's wide grin. 'Gossiping old woman,' she thought rather uncharitably before immediately chastising herself for even thinking those sorts of things about one of her closest friends.

"So there is something!" Jennifer groaned while Evan just smiled even wider. "I knew something was up - most of the base is buzzing over you and Ronon's moonlight rendezvous."

"It was not a rendezvous! And people are talking?"

"Of course they are and you'd know that if you ever left Jennifer Keller Dream Land. The CMO and the Runner? Oh hell yeah people are talking - most exciting thing to happen around here in ages that hasn't included some sort of horrible virus or the Wraith."

"Great," mumbled Jennifer, her head buried in her arms on top of her desk.

When she had heard he'd gone off-world suddenly she's been worried but also a little more than relieved. She had wanted a little space, time to think about everything that was happening, and she hadn't known how to ask Ronon for that without giving him the idea that she was rejecting him. 'Again,' her traitorous mind added with a slight kick to her gut. So she'd been relieved when he'd left, 'without a good bye,' her mind added with another kick, and she hadn't had to say anything.

To her surprise, however, she hadn't found any peace in his absence. She was worried about him, wanted to spend time with him, missed him. She just wanted to be with him and it was a completely exhilarating and completely terrifying feeling.

Evan watched the top of his friend's head as she digested and, slowly, came to terms with the idea that people were talking about her and Ronon. He wasn't surprised that the idea surprised her - Jennifer lived a little bit in a fantasy world where most people were good and honorable and where what she did and who she did it with was of no interest. She didn't realize that she was beautiful or desirable, something which made her more beautiful and desirable, and it never seemed to cross her mind that people would notice her as anything other than a doctor or CMO. So he waited for her to digest the news, allowed her a little time, before once again digging for information on her relationship with the man she let get away before.

"So you and Ronon? I'm not surprised - you two are good together."

"We're not together."

"But you want to be?"

"I don't know, well, I know what I want but I have no idea what is going on in his head, I mean, I rejected him once before and now I'm suddenly running around like a girl with a crush? He must be completely confused and I wouldn't blame him if he only wanted to be friends and, frankly, I never quite understood what he saw in me to begin with. I'm just, I don't know, scared I guess."

"Jennifer…"

"No, no thank you Evan, I don't want to hear it. I don't want the pep talk or the platitudes or the whole 'you're beautiful blah blah blah' thing. If I say it out loud, say what I want, then that makes it real and that means I can be hurt."

"It doesn't matter if you say it or not, it's still real and, honestly, you might get hurt."

"I know but sometimes it'd be nice if you'd just lie to me."

"Sorry Jen, that's not in my job description. But tell me what you want, tell me what you need me to do and I'll be there with bells on as they say."

"Who's 'they' exactly?"

"I don't know but they require me to wear bells. Come on Jen, just tell me."

"Right," she took a deep breath, let it out slowly, before letting herself say the words she had been thinking for ages now. "I want to chose him, undo the mistake I made. I want Ronon."

He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, he knew it was seen as a bad habit that he should break, but here he was, again, doing it. Sheppard had told him to come to the infirmary for a post-mission checkup, not that he had complained too much after he heard that Jennifer was on duty and he'd seen Lorne go into her office and, well, that led him to this moment, to the eavesdropping. Of course none of that explained or excused the fact that he was currently stationed just outside of Jennifer's office, listening to her conversation with Lorne, listening to her confession that she most definitely did not want him to hear. Yet.

He wouldn't, couldn't, deny the fact that he was more than a little pleased with her confession, more than a little happy to hear that she wanted him. Him, not McKay or Chen or any other man on base or off-world or on Earth, but him. He already knew, sort of, that she wanted him - she'd told him their evening together was good, hadn't she - but it felt different to hear the words coming out of her mouth. So it wasn't as incredible a feeling as if she'd said it to his face but, still, she'd said it. She'd admitted she'd made a mistake, had chosen the wrong man, and he'd be damned if he let her make the same mistake twice.

He was so lost in his thoughts, so concentrated on a future which for a long time had seemed out of his reach, that he didn't immediately notice the sound of the door closing. It took him a second to realize that Lorne was standing in front of him, a big - Sheppard would call it a "shit-eating" - grin on his face. Ronon didn't like being caught unawares but it seemed to have become a more common occurrence in the last few weeks on base now that his mind had become so firmly focused on Jennifer Keller.

"How'd the mission go?"

"Fine," Ronon grunted, doing his best to look intimidating. Of course it was hard to intimidate Lorne to begin with and it was even harder than usual after he'd been caught eavesdropping by the Marine but Ronon still made the effort.

"Fine huh? Good to know. Hear anything interesting?"

"What?"

"Off-world? On MX-whatever it was, thought that you all were scouting things out there?"

"Right, some stuff. We're debriefing in the morning."

"Sounds good. Well, I'm off - I'll see you around base."

"Yeah."

"Oh, and Ronon?"

"What?"

"Eavesdropping really isn't an attractive habit on a grown man. Maybe you could just ask her yourself, make life easier on everyone." Evan didn't wait for a reply, knew he wouldn't get one, before walking away.

Ronon watched him go, Lorne's parting shot echoing in his ears. He definitely planned on asking Jennifer Keller a few questions about their relationship. Soon.


	8. Chapter 8

Ronon needed to talk to her, needed to find her but, for some reason, she'd been especially hard to track down today. First she was off-world, "quick mission," one of the Marines said. He didn't want to wait for her in the gate room, too needy seeming, so he'd gone to the mess hall thinking she'd be hungry when she got back. So he'd waited and she didn't appear and so he'd asked someone if she was working and they said that she was on a break until morning. That was when he took to wandering the piers and corridors, she liked to be out during her off-time, didn't she?, hoping to "accidentally" run into her.

When had he become this mess of a man? The question remained unanswered as he stood before her quarters after having finally decided to just wait her out there. She'd come back, sooner or later, he'd ask his question and then he'd go, no big deal.

So he waited, arms crossed, shoulder against her doorframe, a steady glare in place to prevent any of the passersby from commenting or looking twice. People would talk, he knew they would because how often did Ronon hang around in front of women's doors?, but he could at least prevent them from talking to him. So he waited, ignored the whispers and stares, and concentrated his faze on the opposite wall.

"If I didn't know you any better, I'd say this was creepy."

He was glad he didn't jump, his lack of focus lately had been frustrating him, and he turned his head to look at the woman beside him. Arms crossed, big grin, slightly sweaty - Amelia Banks looked like she had just come from kicking ass and taking names. He smiled back, well, sent her his approximation of a grin, and turned to face her fully.

"Training?"

"Yeah, had some extra adrenaline from the mission to work off and since Stephen is off-world again…"

"Right."

"I heard you were looking for me? People are going to start talking, you know, what with the stalking and now you hanging out by my quarters."

"People always talk - they have nothing better to do, I guess."

"Most people talk. You? You just grunt," laughed Amelia. "Come on in and tell me all about it."

Jennifer shouldn't have been jealous.

She knew, well, she knew now that Ronon and Amelia were only friends thanks to Evan telling her with an exasperated sigh and an order to pay more attention to what was going on around her. She really shouldn't have been jealous.

And yet she was jealous. Skin crawling, stomach rolling, green eyed monster jealous. The sight of Amelia and Ronon, well, just Amelia laughing before she grabbed his hand and tugged him into her quarters was most likely going to drive Jennifer to distraction. She had just gotten off-shift, was heading toward her quarters to shower, when she had heard two scientists discussing Ronon's standing around in front of Amelia's room and, suddenly and without really meaning to, she had changed courses.

Which was why she was now standing in a hallway peering around a corner at the man she was crazy about and his ex-girlfriend. She had gone crazy, that was it, and that was why she was now acting like some jealous stalker and not the mature woman she knew she was once. She had no claim over him, they weren't even dating, and she knew that Ronon and Amelia were just friends. So she let out a long, loud and frustrated groan before walking away to her quarters.

She was crazy. She was jealous. What in two galaxies was wrong with her?

Ronon stole one final glance down the corridor, he'd thought he'd heard something, before allowing Amelia to pull him all the way into her quarters. She waved the door shut before rounding on him, arms crossed once more. She looked at him, he looked at her and they both waited.

"So if people weren't talking before they sure will be now," Amelia began. "So what do you need?"

Ronon hated this part - he'd spent 7 years alone after losing everyone and everything he knew and trusted, 7 years spent depending only on himself to survive, and he still wasn't completely comfortable with the idea of allowing himself to depend on others once more. He also knew that he needed help and that he could depend on Amelia just like he knew he could depend on Sheppard or Teyla or even McKay. So he took a deep breath and steeled himself before asking for help.

"I need…assistance with Jennifer."

"Just what every ex-girlfriend wants to hear! Don't get that look, I'm kidding. What do you need help with?"

"I'm not entirely sure what to do next, what the Earth norms are for all of this, what any norms are for all of this."

"Something big must have happened for you to be ready to put it all out there again."

"She said that she made a mistake when she chose McKay, that she wants to be with me."

"She said that? That's great! I assume you're cutting out all the gross kissing parts for my sake because, really, you don't need to do-"

"She didn't say it to me."

"She didn't say it to you…Then how did you…? Oh. Oh! Ronon! Eavesdropping? Really? Are you now a 14 year old girl with a crush?"

"I didn't mean to - I just overheard her talking to Evan and, I don't know, I couldn't stop myself."

"You're hopeless, you know that, right?"

"Yes - this is all new, again, and I'm not sure what to do anymore. And the last time, with Jennifer…"

"I know, she really hurt you. I remember how you didn't really speak to her for ages - you've just started speaking to her again now."

"I know all that."

"Okay, well, I guess I can give you some advice on how to get the doctor - I've always heard that Earth girls are easy. But no more eavesdropping, okay?"

Ronon just grunted. He wouldn't give promises he knew he couldn't keep.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."


	9. Chapter 9

Jennifer was starting to think she had a secret admirer. It had started two days before with a cup of red jello at her work desk. Then it had been a piece of chocolate cake in her room, chocolate cake which had all been eaten by the time Jennifer had gotten to the mess hall after work. She was pretty sure she'd seen Rodney with two pieces but he wasn't really the type of guy to leave desserts, well, uneaten. The flowers today had been a surprise - she'd expected cookies or maybe some leftover Salisbury's steak - so the sight of the bright red and orange blooms had caused an excited, and welcome, gasp to escape her lips.

She had hoped, with every fiber of her being, that it had been Ronon leaving her gifts, his own weird way of showing her that he cared. But he'd been off-world when the cake arrived and she assumed that, if he was leaving the gifts, he'd maybe hang around more but he'd been particularly invisible since right around the time she'd seen him with Amelia. Maybe Eric or one of the new Marines she decided with a sigh as she absently played with one of the petals. So she sighed, moved the flowers to one side of her desk and settled into her paperwork.

It was a few hours later that Marie found her. The nurse glared at her, unsurprised to find the CMO at work on her day off, before shooing Jennifer out of the office and toward her quarters with the threat that she'd have Woolsey bench her if she came back. So Jennifer wandered back to her quarters, not looking forward to having a day with nothing to do, stopping to chat with Sheppard as he passed her on a way to a meeting and visiting with Teyla as Torren napped.

She could only put off the inevitable for so long, however, and she finally arrived back at door, waving it open without a glance. She stopped, or was stopped, by a large form immediately in front of her. A large form attached to Ronon's surprised and sheepish face. Ronon. In her quarters. And were those candles?

"Um, so, what's going on?"

Jennifer blushed, could feel her face burning and she struggled to look Ronon in the eyes. 'The man's in your room with candles and that's what you say?' she thought before hastily brushing her hair behind her ear and shifting her gaze to the carpet.

"I thought you'd still be in the infirmary."

"Oh. I'm not."

"Right." Ronon could have kicked himself - standing in Jennifer's room with candles and food and that's what he says? This was not going as planned. "I mean, I was just going to get you."

"Right. Why?"

"I thought you'd maybe like to have dinner with me. Here. In your quarters."

This was definitely not going as planned at all. He was supposed to be scary and mean and alien and confident and instead here he was, bumbling through asking the girl he liked on a date like a teenager again.

"Right."

God, was that all she could say? She was smart, wasn't she? People said she was smart. And she'd had an actual conversation before, hadn't she? Hell, she'd had an actual conversation with Ronon before but, no, now she had to act like a complete idiot because he was here, in her quarters, with candles, asking her, possibly, on a date. Her brain felt like mush, the butterflies in her stomach were beating their wings harder than ever and she was having some trouble breathing, her heart was pounding so hard.

"Are you okay?" She didn't look okay - dazed, confused and a little out of breath. Maybe she was sick?

"What? Oh, I'm fine, super really."

"Are you sure? You look a little sick."

"Fine, really. So, you wanted to have dinner with me? Like a date?"

"Um, yes, if you want to, I mean, that's what Amelia said I should do after what you said…"

"What I said? When?"

"It doesn't matter."

Ronon didn't like to lie, especially not to people who were important to him, but he had to agree with Amelia on this one: it would not be a good idea for Jennifer to find out that he'd been eavesdropping. Again.

"If it was important enough for you to suddenly want to ask me on a date then I kind of want to know what I said."

Maybe she shouldn't have pushed it, maybe things would have turned out differently that evening if she hadn't but she couldn't change the fact that she was Jennifer Keller and she wanted answers. So she crossed her arms and waited for his answer. And as she waited, looked his face in expectation, she noticed it. It being the slight twitch in the corner of his mouth. It telling her that something was definitely wrong.

"You listened to my conversation with Evan, didn't you?"

"It was an accident."

"An accident? You accidentally over heard us and just couldn't move yourself away from the door or announce your presence?"

"Hey, you don't even know when I appeared - I could have just shown up right when you were saying that you'd made a mistake."

"But you obviously didn't show up just then. And you are, just, so, you're unbelievable, you know that? You do this whole wonderful gesture with the desserts and the flowers and now dinner and you ruin it by being a liar who listens to other people's conversations."

"I never lied to you. And I'm sorry I listened to your conversation. But what desserts and flowers?"

"Oh god, you didn't leave those things for me, of course not. Why would you give me presents or do anything because you already supposedly know how I feel about you. No need to try, not when Jenny Keller is going to just throw herself at you. Was that why you wanted to have dinner in here? Knew you could make a move and I wouldn't say no?"

She knew she shouldn't have said it the second it came out of her mouth, knew that it hurt his feelings and his pride, but she was upset and embarrassed and furious. She thought he'd done this because he'd been ready to put his heart on the line too. She thought he'd given her gifts, had wooed her as pathetic as it sounded, and, in reality, he'd known all along that he didn't have to do a thing because she desperately wanted to be with him. God, he knew she thought being with Rodney was a mistake.

"Just leave, please Ronon. Just go."

So he turned and left, no arguments, nothing to say. And Jennifer knew that this time, she might have lost him for good.


	10. Chapter 10

He gave her a week.

Time, space, all those things that people said they needed after they got angry, he gave her. But only for one week. He knew she was upset with him, understood why she was and he couldn't fault her for that. He shouldn't have listened to her conversation, again, and he should have just gone to her with what he heard instead of making some huge production. Jennifer Keller didn't seem to like huge productions, at least not when they came from overhearing rather personal conversations. So he gave her a week to be angry and upset with him before he tried again.

Her week was up.

And yet here he was, once more, pressed up against the wall by her office door, listening to something he was most definitely not supposed to be hearing. But it wasn't a conversation and it wasn't her in there so he figured that this particular case of eavesdropping could be written off as being protective or on alert. He could truthfully say that he didn't know what exactly Eric Chen was planning although, from what Ronon could see from his frequent peeks into the office and from what he could hear, Chen probably wasn't planning on murdering Jennifer in her office.

No, Eric Chen was, and the thought made Ronon have to force down some very primal male urges, in love with Jennifer. Which was why at that moment he was arranging some flowers - they looked like the Earth flowers Ronon had seen in a movie once - on her desk all while mumbling to himself about admitting his feelings and asking her out again. Ronon remembered Jennifer's last date with Chen with a barely suppressed shudder. He also remembered Jennifer mentioning something about presents being left for her, although he couldn't be sure because she'd been pretty upset at the time, and how she'd assumed they'd been from him. Well, they hadn't been from him. No, they'd been from Chen and that thought alone made Ronon release a growl.

"Jennifer?"

Crap. Chen had better hearing than he thought.

Ronon could have escaped, could have walked away like he hadn't seen or heard anything and no one would have been the wiser. But Ronon Dex was not about to walk away from this fight, however unfair a fight it may be, and he was not about to walk away from Jennifer Keller. He'd lost her once and he wasn't about to do it again. So he stepped out into the doorway of her office and aimed his best and most intimidating glare at the young doctor.

"Oh, Ronon, hello."

Ronon didn't respond except for a short nod.

"What are you doing here? Do you need a doctor?"

"Looking for Jennifer."

"She's not here, as you can probably tell."

Chen didn't seem nervous or embarrassed. Ronon was surprised by that. Most people on Atlantis were nervous around him and most people would probably be a bit embarrassed to be caught leaving flowers on the desk of someone they were not dating. Jennifer and Chen weren't dating, right? Ronon shook that thought away: he knew they weren't dating, that Jennifer wanted him, not the doctor, and there was no need to start going down that path.

"So what are you doing in here?"

"Just…well, leaving Jennifer flowers obviously."

"Why?"

"Why am I leaving her flowers?"

"Yes."

"I don't think that's…"

Chen trailed off at the sight of Ronon's eye roll. They both stood there, both waiting for the other to say something, to make a move. Chen crossed his arms, uncrossed them, before crossing them again, unable to stop himself from fidgeting in the tension-filled room. Ronon just stood there, still and impassive, eying his opponent before deciding it was up to him to make the first move.

"You have feelings for her." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. Do you?"

"Yes."

"Right. Well, as they say, may the best man win. So I guess that's all then."

"No."

"What?"

"I said no, I'm not going to play any games with you for Jennifer's affections. I'm telling you right now, Jennifer and I are going to be together."

"How can you know-"

"I do."

"I don't-"

"You have feelings for her, you like her."

"Yes."

"I love her. So you're going to have to get used to the fact that you can't have her."

"She's not your property, you can't-"

"We belong together, ask anyone. I'll make sure she gets these, I'll let her know they were from you but it won't make a difference."

"This isn't over, not until I hear it from her."

"Fine. But you will be hearing it from her. Soon."

Chen nodded before walking out the door without a backwards glance. Ronon looked at the flowers, thought about what he'd said, what he'd declared. He loved her. It was that simple and that complex.

She shouldn't have been eavesdropping, not after how upset and pissed she'd gotten over Ronon doing the same, but she just couldn't help herself.

She'd shown up at her shift early, as usual, was headed towards her office to do some paperwork when she'd heard Ronon's voice in her office. So she'd stopped and waited a moment, surprised to hear Eric's voice coming out of the office as well. So she'd waited some more and then, before she really knew what she was doing, she was eavesdropping on a whole conversation about her. A conversation about their feelings about her. A conversation in which Ronon said, no, declared that he loved her.

He loved her? He loved her. Jennifer smiled, a rush of warmth running through her, at the thought. It took everything inside her not to run straight into the office and tell him she loved him too. She loved him. It was that simple and that complex.

"You know, someone once told me you shouldn't eavesdrop."

Ronon. Crap.


	11. Chapter 11

Ronon hadn't known it was possible for a human face to turn that red. He watched her twist her fingers together, watched her shift from one foot to the other, watched her look down and then up as if he'd magically disappear if she looked everywhere but at him. He didn't disappear, didn't stop looking at her and couldn't help the slight smile that crossed his face at her obvious discomfort. He loved her blush.

Finally he took pity on her and grabbed her hand, pulling her gently into her office before shutting the door behind them and releasing her hand. She took a few steps away from him, seemed to need the space in order to get her thoughts together. He watched as she looked at the flowers briefly as she seemed to decide something, before she swept them off her desk and into the trash in one movement. He hadn't thought it was possible to love her more but watching her choose him, even if it just meant her throwing out some flowers, proved him wrong.

He watched as she turned, square her shoulders and looked him straight in the eye, her blush ruining her confident act just a bit.

"How long did you know I was out there?"

"A little while."

"Right. I shouldn't have been eavesdropping and I'm sorry, it was wrong."

"So I've heard."

"It still doesn't make what you did right."

"I know. And it doesn't make anything I just said untrue."

"Oh."

That was all she had to say? Oh? She should be throwing herself at the man, kissing him senseless and telling him that she loved him to. But she didn't, she was the idiot who just said "oh." Next thing she knew, she'd be telling him "thank you" if he ever told her to her face that he loved her. Not that he'd ever tell her that with the way she was acting at the moment.

Jennifer Keller didn't know what to do. How did one act when one's wishes were all coming true?

"You could start by telling me what you're thinking."

Shit. She'd said that out loud?

"You also said that out loud, Jen."

"Right. I don't know why I do that sometimes, you know, I think I'm just thinking something but in reality I'm saying it. Maybe it's a nervous tic or something, maybe I should talk to someone about it, might not-"

"Jennifer. Just breathe." He couldn't help his smile. He loved making her nervous, "in a good way" she'd once told him.

"Right." She loved how he was able to be the calm after the storm in her life.

"So," he said, his voice scratchy and thick as he gently claimed her hands once more. "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm not absolutely sure where 'here' is."

"You heard what I said to Chen…"

"It doesn't count."

"It doesn't count?" he laughed as Jennifer blushed once more.

"It doesn't count because you didn't say it to me."

"Right, well, I guess I should get around to correcting that problem."

"Probably."

"Jennifer," he said as he tugged her forward so she landed against his chest. She tilted her head back and looked at him, a smile playing across her face. He looked down at her, their eyes locking, a grin firmly in place as he rubbed his nose softly against hers. She sighed quietly, eyes closing for a moment before snapping open again, as he kissed the tip of her nose with the lightest of touches. "Jennifer. I am so in love with you, never stopped loving you."

"I love you too, Ronon."

"So where do we go from here?"

"You could try kissing me, I'd probably let you."

So he tried and she let him.

_________________________________________

_18 Months Later_

They really shouldn't have been eavesdropping, it was wrong and they knew better but here they were anyway.

Ronon had just been coming by the infirmary to pick up Jennifer for dinner when he'd been stopped, hushed and denied a 'hello' kiss by the cute little doctor. She'd been peering around one of the curtain dividers and listening, rather intently he thought, to whomever was speaking on the other side. So he'd stopped and hushed and taken his lack of a kiss in stride - he'd make sure he got more than a kiss later - and strained his ears to hear what was happening on the other side.

It hadn't surprised him to hear Eric Chen - he was a doctor after all - and Jennifer and him had remained friendly after she'd turned him down and told him that her and Ronon were together. Eric had even shaken his hand and congratulated Ronon on their engagement although it was only after he had threatened to inject him with a deadly toxin if Ronon hurt Jennifer in any way.

What had surprised Ronon was the other voice, a voice which sounded strangely like Amelia, a voice which sounded like it was flirting. Amelia and Chen? Ronon didn't dislike the idea but he did find it strange. They were so different, he couldn't even imagine them together. The sound of someone moving towards them interrupted his thoughts and he and Jennifer scurried, when had he started scurrying?, off to her office in order to avoid detection. He rounded on her the second the door closed, a million questions he wanted to ask on the tip of his tongue.

"I know, it is so strange. Amelia and Eric? But they might be good together, I mean, we're complete opposites and we work, right?"

"Right. Is that the first time-"

"Oh no, I've seen them together a few times actually. I think their little 'thing' probably started around when she'd gotten injured. They spent a lot of time together since she was stuck here for those two weeks."

"Okay."

"We probably shouldn't have been listening to their conversation…"

"Probably not."

"Right. Well, um, what are you doing here?"

"Taking you to dinner."

"Sounds good, let me just finish this-"

"Taking you to dinner now."

"Ronon…"

"Jennifer."

She smiled and shrugged before dropping the charts she'd picked up off her desk back on it. She thought it was incredibly sweet and thoughtful how he'd come by during her shifts to make sure she ate something, even going so far as to throw her over his shoulder one time when she wouldn't put down her staff evaluations in order to have breakfast with him. She grabbed the hand he held out to her, watched with a certain amount of delight how his large hand swallowed her smaller one, and followed him out of her office. She almost ran into him when he stopped suddenly in the middle of the infirmary and turned to look at her.

"What?"

"I forgot something."

"What?"

"This," he said before kissing her, not caring who saw or how much she blushed. Jennifer didn't mind, she just threaded her arms around his neck and held on as he lifted her slightly off the ground in order to even out their heights. He set her down, brushing his nose lightly against hers, before looking her in the eyes. "Hi."

"Hi."

He knew then, as he'd always known, that he'd never get tired of her, never want anyone else, never stop loving her.

She knew as she'd always known that he'd always surprise her, always make her feel wanted, always be the only man she'd ever love.

And, for the both of them, it was enough.


End file.
